var theBoys=document.getElementsByTagName('boy'),
deck=[];
function lookForDude(){
var dude;
for(i=0;i<theBoys.length;i++){
if(theBoys[i].system==='boomin\''&&theBoys[i].top==='down'
&&theBoys[i].AC.coolinSystem){
var theClub=document.getElementById('club');
theClub.appendChild(theBoys[i]);
theBoys[i].blazin++;
deck.push(theBoys[i].getElementsByTagName('stack'));
theBoys[i].ill==theBoys[i].real==true;
theBoys[i].deal==Math.floor(Math.random()*2)==1?true:false;
while(document.getElementsByTagName('bottle').length){
document.getElementsByTagName('bottle').pop();
}
theBoys[i].getElementsByTagName('build')[0].style.textAlign='right';
theBoys[i].temperature--;
theBoys[i].dope=true;
if(Math.floor(Math.random()*2)==1){
for(j=0;j<theClub.getElementsByTagName('boy');j++){
if(theClub.getElementsByTagName('boy')[j].coke.length===0)
theClub.getElementsByTagName('boy')[j].coke++;
}
}
document.getElementById('plane').getElementsByTagName('class')[0]
.appendChild(theBoys[i]);
var trip=function(boy){
if(boy.trip)
return 'mutha fuckin\' trip';
};
var isTrip=trip(theBoys[i]);
var ship={
ship:{
sailor:theBoys[i]
}
};
var drip=function(){
theBoys[i].getElementsByTagName('lip')[0].getElementsByTagName('lip')[0]
.innerHTML='kiss';
};
if(theBoys[i].addEventListener)
theBoys[i].addEventListener('drip',drip,false);
else if(theBoys[i].attachEvent)
theBoys[i].attachEvent('ondrip',drip);
dude=theBoys[i];
}
}
return dude;
}
console.log(lookForDude());
function slapHo(){
var ho;
if(window.XMLHttpRequest){
ho=new XMLHttpRequest();
else if(window.ActiveXObject)
ho=new ActiveXObject('Microsoft.XMLHTTP');
ho.open('GET','/ho-json');
ho.send();
ho.onreadystatechange=function(){
if(ho.readyState==4){
if(ho.responseText.lookin)
return;
}
}
}
var willHoGetSlapped=slapHo();
alert('Excuse me, you\'re a hell of a guy.\n'+
'I mean my, my, my you\'re like pelican fly.\n'+
'I mean, you\'re so shy and I\'m lovin\' your tie.\n'+
'You\'re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh!');
function didShe(){
return;
}
function whoTheEffSheIs(){
if(didShe())
alert('She is Nicki Minaj, she macks them dudes up.\n'+
'Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up.');
}
whoTheEffSheIs();
var boy=lookForDude(),
superBass='boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom bass';
function runAway(){
var heartbeat=document.getElementById('heartbeat');
heartbeat.style.position='absolute';
while(Number(heartbeat.style.left.replace('px',''))<window.innerWidth){
heartbeat.style.left=(Number(heartbeat.style.left.replace('px',''))+1)+'px';
}
heartbeat.getElementsByTagName('beating')[0].innerHTML='/images/drum.png';
boy.parentNode.insertBefore(heartbeat,boy);
return boy.getElementsByTagName('feeling')[0].indexOf(superBass);
}
var canBoyFeelIt=runAway();
function setBoysBass(){
boy.bass=superBass;
}
setBoysBass();
function checkBoysBass(){
if(boy.bass===superBass)
return;
}
var isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass();
setBoysBass();
isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass();
for(i=0;i<theBoys.length;i++){
if(theBoys[i].getElementsByTagName('polo').length&&
(theBoys[i].entrepreneurial||theBoys[i].mogul)){
var crew=theBoys[i].parentNode.childNodes;
for(j=0;j<crew.length;j++){
if(crew[j]!==theBoys[i])
theBoys[i].parentNode.removeChild(crew[j]);
}
var cap=document.createElement('cap');
cap.style.width='100%';
theBoys[i].appendChild(cap);
document.getElementById('mac').disabled='disabled';
var thatLook=document.createElement('look');
document.getElementById('her').appendChild(thatLook);
document.getElementById('her').removeChild(document.getElementById('her')
.getElementsByTagName('panties')[0]);
var excuseHer=document.createElement('p');
excuseHer.innerHTML='You\'re a hell of a guy.<br />'+
'You know I really got a thing for American guys.<br />'+
'I mean, sigh, sickenin\' eyes.<br />'+
'I can tell that you\'re in touch with your feminine side, oh!';
theBoys[i].appendChild(excuseHer);
}
}
whoTheEffSheIs();
canBoyFeelIt=runAway();
setBoysBass();
isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass();
setBoysBass();
isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass();
document.getElementById('her').getElementsByTagName('life')[0].appendChild(boy);
boy.style.position='fixed';
boy.style.top='0';
boy.style.left='0';
canBoyFeelIt=runAway();
setBoysBass();
isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass();
setBoysBass();
isThatThatSuperBass=checkBoysBass(); |